My mom passed away unexpectedly last Wednesday May 14, 2014; 3 days after Mother's Day, 2 days after my birthday, 5 days before the 1 year anniversary of grandma's death.  It has been a rough week to say the least. 
I wrote a eulogy for her memorial service tomorrow.
So many memories get conjured up when I think of our mother, Deborah. It's hard to even fathom her death, let alone sum it up into a page of words of what she means to me, to us. I sit here writing this in my car, peering out into an empty park, gazing into the sky at Mt. Hood. A great vast mountain, volcano if you will, a force to be reckoned with.
A force to be reckoned with. She was that. She fought hard, she played hard, she laughed hard, but most of all she loved hard. She loved just about everyone she crossed paths with and you knew it; even loving those that have done her wrong. She had a big heart and contagious smile. A heart and a smile that I will dearly miss.
Although, she mellowed in her older age, I can remember numerous times in my younger years, if you messed with her or anyone she loved/cared for, you better watch out. It would only be a moment before she would be coming for you. She might of been small in stature but she made up for it in personality. One memory that sticks out in my mind, was when I think I must have been all of 5 or 6, James just 2 or so at the time, pre car seats. Someone jay walked in front of our car as we were accelerating, we had to slam on the breaks to avoid hitting the person, which ultimately threw James and I out of our seats in the back, onto the floor. Of course we were crying. Mom was livid. We literally pulled into the parking lot of where the person was and Mom let them have a piece of her mind via a broken windshield. No holding back. I think the cops may have even been called. Ok, so not the best memory but goes to show don't mess with momma bear and her cubs. That was her.
She had a rough life especially these last couple years. She battled addiction for many years but was clean for many, had some health scares but thought most of them were under control, she divorced, but she always came back full circle. She soldiered on when most others may have given up. She was a fighter.
I talked to her several times on Mother's Day and on my birthday May 12th, it was just like any other time we talked. Just chatting about the goings on in our lives at the time, asking about the grandchildren, work, etc. Even though states divided us we talked often and it was almost as if she was right down the street. Nothing extraordinary came out of our frequent calls, the call on Mother's Day or my birthday and that is probably how it was meant to be. Casual conversation, between a mother and her daughter, nothing out of the ordinary yet now I consider them extraordinary, those last talks. A memory that I will cherish and hold dear forever.
In closing, as we have all soldiered on this past week as mom would have wanted us to do, I keep coming back to a couple verses from one of my favorite songs.
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
As hard as it is to accept, I truly believe mom's "peaceful" passing IS a blessing in disguise. I am sure she is now whooping it up in Heaven , maybe even questioning authority at the holy gates, running into the arms of the other family members we have lost along the way.
I love you Mom. Forever on my mind and in my heart. Never EVER forgotten.
Love Your Daughter,
Jiffer Lyn