Monday, July 21, 2014

Confessions Of A Non Superwoman #28



Wow. 

Not sure where to start.


1.    I haven't posted a Confessions post since December and I am certain I have had tons of failures. I think I have run out of paper at this point.

2.  I haven't even written a blog post since May 21.  Here is why.

3.  It has been rough this past year.  3 family members passing.  I have not been handling it all that well on a personal level and it is clearly obvious.  I am a hot mess more often than not.

4.  We have been having a bit of a heat wave round the parts , last couple weeks, coupled with working longer hours, I can probably count on one hand how many times I have actually made a full sit down meal for our family.  It's a wonder why our bank account seems empty and our waist lines are expanding.

5.  I need will power.  I need to will myself to blog more, take more time for myself doing whatever I want and not apologize or feel guilty for doing so (but this is so extremely hard given #7).

6.  I need to let go or just go on strike.  LOL.  So I have a little OCD which has always been a work in progress where I can't just be (for the most part anyways).  For example the floor needs to be swept; if I am home, if it needs to be done, I can't relax until I do it.  And because of my OCD often times I end up doing quite a bit more in the housekeeping arena.  Since OCD is my own issue, I try and own it but on the other hand I feel at times, others take advantage of it.

7.  This is heavy.  Our son Hayden was diagnosed with ADHD about  a year and a half ago.  It makes me angry, sad, depressed, mad, guilty.  I could go on.  I don't talk about it much to many. At times, I feel like we are in our own private heck dealing with what comes with having a child with ADHD.  I know that sounds silly because I know how prevelant it really is (and I know there are plenty of families with children who are much worse with cancers, disabilities, etc so please don't take this out of context).  I hear the statistics.  Our son is now included in that.  My heart breaks.

What are you struggling with? Don't be shy.  I know I am not the only one out there.  I feel sometimes these confessional posts are a bit freeing.  I can validate my failures and somewhat move on.  Not that they go away by any means but....You know what I mean, right?





 
Summer time fun!









2 comments:

  1. This is my second attempt to comment, FB you suck for comments. I'm writing this on my phone on my tram ride home from work and I just want to give you a hug. My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 and yes it's not easy but hon you've got to stop being so tough on yourself, this is not your fault and there are so many resources and groups out there to assist, more than there was 20 years ago. He will be fine and so will you, you just need to believe xxxx

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Fi for the words of encouragement. I appreciate it. It is just hard and I know I just have to let things go, out of my control. Hope things are going well for you and your family.

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