Say It Ain't So

A few things I have said over the last couple days that I never thought I would say, maybe shouldn't say or normally wouldn't say but since I am a mother of small children, I did....and probably will again many more times throughout the years ahead....

Can you please take your toilet out of the kitchen! 

Do I smell like poop? 


Help!  She has poop dripping down her leg!


Is that snot on your shoulder? (this was to my husband before church this past Sunday)


You have a booger on your eyebrow!

Can I pee by myself, pretty please with sugar on top...just this once (this of course I say all the time and I know a little TMI but I am sure many other mothers of small children can relate)  ( I say this alot about taking a shower too)

It ain't got no spices in it honey...(not sure where my language skills where at this point)

No, honey I didn't see you...Why? Because I wasn't looking at you. Why, weren't you looking at me?  Because I was busy doing something else not paying attention  I don't have eyes on the back of my head. Why?  (Yes, we are in the why stage and I can't come up with things fast enough sometimes so luckily he forgets and moves onto the next why question)


Why do you need your lipstick?  (this is odd saying it to my little boy when he is asking me to find his lipstick which he does not have)

What does lipstick have to do with my toenails? (apparently he wants to paint my toes with lipstick)

Yes, I heard your burp.