Surreal

That is a good adjective to describe life this past month and a half.

Can I wake up now and go back to the regularly scheduled program?

Wouldn't that be nice if we could rewind time and start over.  Would you want to?

In most cases in life, I would not. I am where I am at because of all life has thrown at me but in the case of probably the last six or so months (since grandma passed away in May), it would be nice for a do over. 

Who would have thought that a mere six months after grandma passed that we would be letting go of yet another family member. I know he is no longer in pain, suffering and I know he didn't want the life that he was going to be left with (chemo every 3 weeks, dialysis every other day, etc) but, for my own selfish reasons, I really wanted him to pull through.  I wanted him at the Thanksgiving table this Thursday with his thunderous voice, hooting and hollering over the football game.  I will miss the summer barbecues that we would have at the house, talking, reminiscing about the years past.  I thought he was going to pull through there for a while. We all did.  We were all rallying around him, praying for him.  But in the end, I guess it wasn't meant to be.  I miss him tremendously.


He got his wings and he is hopefully holding hands with his wife, grinning ear to ear, winking at his mother and arguing with his sister.  LOL. 

Today is his memorial.