Confessions Of A Non Superwoman #28

Wow. 

Not sure where to start.


1.    I haven't posted a Confessions post since December and I am certain I have had tons of failures. I think I have run out of paper at this point.

2.  I haven't even written a blog post since May 21.  Here is why.

3.  It has been rough this past year.  3 family members passing.  I have not been handling it all that well on a personal level and it is clearly obvious.  I am a hot mess more often than not.

4.  We have been having a bit of a heat wave round the parts , last couple weeks, coupled with working longer hours, I can probably count on one hand how many times I have actually made a full sit down meal for our family.  It's a wonder why our bank account seems empty and our waist lines are expanding.

5.  I need will power.  I need to will myself to blog more, take more time for myself doing whatever I want and not apologize or feel guilty for doing so (but this is so extremely hard given #7).

6.  I need to let go or just go on strike.  LOL.  So I have a little OCD which has always been a work in progress where I can't just be (for the most part anyways).  For example the floor needs to be swept; if I am home, if it needs to be done, I can't relax until I do it.  And because of my OCD often times I end up doing quite a bit more in the housekeeping arena.  Since OCD is my own issue, I try and own it but on the other hand I feel at times, others take advantage of it.

7.  This is heavy.  Our son Hayden was diagnosed with ADHD about  a year and a half ago.  It makes me angry, sad, depressed, mad, guilty.  I could go on.  I don't talk about it much to many. At times, I feel like we are in our own private heck dealing with what comes with having a child with ADHD.  I know that sounds silly because I know how prevelant it really is (and I know there are plenty of families with children who are much worse with cancers, disabilities, etc so please don't take this out of context).  I hear the statistics.  Our son is now included in that.  My heart breaks.

What are you struggling with? Don't be shy.  I know I am not the only one out there.  I feel sometimes these confessional posts are a bit freeing.  I can validate my failures and somewhat move on.  Not that they go away by any means but....You know what I mean, right?



 

Summer time fun!