I Am Number 20

In case you didn’t hear, which is probably highly unlikely being is was splashed all over the internet and TV the last couple days, The Duggar Family will soon be 19 20 and counting. 

Number 20 is in the womb.

Michelle Duggar is pregnant again and is due this spring.

I have actually revised this post a few different times because the words, they just weren't flowing right.  I am feeling a bit torn on this topic to be perfectly honest because there is a swaying dance between my beliefs on the subject.  And I feel that they might be viewed as somewhat contradictory but I guess that is ok.


Work with me here.


I believe that nobody should determine whether or not someone should or should not use birth control, how many children is the right number for them/their family or whether they should have children at all.  I believe that ALL children are a GIFT from GOD and should be celebrated no matter what birth order number they are.  However I also think there does or should come a time when a decision is made that a family is complete. 


In The Duggar families case, I have read that they do not use contraceptives and they have said time and time again that they will have as many children that GOD allows them to have.


But under the circumstances of her last pregnancy, I think that might have been a sign?  I don’t know if you remember, her last pregnancy, could have resulted in much worse circumstances.  As it is their little girl, Josie, was born premature, had months in the NICU and Michelle herself ended up having health issues herself during this time.  The little girl seems to have come out of everything unscathed and will be turning 2 here shortly but still. 

Maybe 19 was their magic number.


I know that some might say that if it wasn't "meant" to be then she would not be pregnant again, and again, I can see this side of the story too BUT even so. 

At what point, does one say enough is enough?

I just can't imagine what their household is like with so many children?  How can "they" care for so many children?  I think the answer is clear, they really can't which is why a lot of the older children "help out".  Which begs to question, who is "really" parenting the children?  Who is "really" taking care of the children?  I know they home school therefore they are physically with the children most of the time but are they really "with" them?


As an older sister to several brothers when I was growing up and around my younger brothers, not that I didn't love my brothers by any means, but I was still a kid myself and wanted to be a kid, not take care of my parents children.  With that in mind, as a mother with two older children and two younger children, I rarely ask them for help with the littles.  It is not their responsibility.  Not that they wouldn't help if asked and not that they don't love their siblings whole heartily.  But rather they are kids and need to be kids.  The Duggar family says that by having the older ones help them it is teaching them responsibility which I agree but it is also most likely creating some underlying resentment too that although may not be apparent now; it will probably likely manifest as they get older. 

I know some might say that as long as they can support them let them be.  And again to a point, I agree, yet even if you have the means, with each additional child you bring into a family, the costs increase drastically.  At what point does the well run dry?

I don't know... but in light of her last pregnancy issues, I think they are pushing it. 

Although in the end who am I to judge?


What do you think?