It sneeks up on me, like a cat ready to pounce. I don't see it coming and before you know it is is there. It is back with a vengence. I'm just going along minding my own business and it decides to rear its ugly head, uninvited. All was going swimmingly well, so I thought...then I get in a rut, a funk if you will. Living like a hermit. Doing what I need to do, just to get by. Nothing more. Invites come, turned down, don't feel all that much like socializing.
So unmotivated. Tired. Even lethargic at times. Crabby. Anxiety ridden and so easily overwhelmed by normal day to day tasks. All hope sometimes seems lost. Alarm goes off and all I want to do is just pull the covers back over my head and sleep the day away. I so would if I could sometimes. But I don't. I roll out of bed, trudge through the day; 7 days a week. Pretending.
Go to work, do my job. Put on a happy face. Come home, run errands, work some more, take care of the kids, cook dinner, clean up, fall into bed if I am lucky around 10 or so. Exhausted. Weekends roll around, more housework, hours of it...no time to rest. Still exhausted. Repeat.
Time for medication again. I was hoping I was over that hump but no such luck. I thought I had it under control. I think I was just ignoring it, masking it. Pretending. I was getting pretty good at that.
Depression. Disgusting.
Oh hon, I'm hearing you loud and clear on this one. I'm about to make a dramatic decision based on similar - cyber hugs coming your way, hang in there :-)
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