Showing posts with label Humorous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humorous. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Out With A Bang

Mothers Day started off serene and peaceful.  T made me breakfast which was a delightful surprise and very nice.  I got a few cards from the kiddos and of course lots of hugs & kisses from everyone.

I ended up skipping church to hang out with Miss K who still wasn't feeling the greatest so we were able to just lounge around for a couple hours.  That was nice.  Just her and I hanging out.  She fell back to sleep in my arms while I watched Home Made Simple (love that show!) and Hungry Girl

Then upon the return of the troops I was off to have a couple hours of me time.  Yah!  I went and got a pedicure.  One of my monthly (or so) indulgences.  I bought my People Magazine (double issue thank you) and sat back relaxed while soaking my pigs in the bath.  So relaxing. 

Later in the afternoon since I hadn't gone shopping yet and it was pushing 4 or so we decided to go out to dinner.  Ha!  What the heck were we thinking.  Everyone and their *mothers* were out.  We literally made a complete circle around our city, stopped at several restaurants along the way...detoured when the line was out the door and then ended up back at Old Chicago which is about a mile away from our house!  Doh! 

It was actually pretty slow there so that was inviting.  No wait.  And they have the best and I really mean the best Artichoke Dip.  A  stromboli, a personal pizza, kids hamgabur (that's how Beanpoles says it) and a calzone later we headed back home.

This is where the fun really began.  I knew that the day was just way too quiet for our household.

As I was walking out of our bedroom I couldn't help but notice T's bedroom door slightly open and he was outside playing basketball which meant only one thing....Beanpole was in his room.  As I tip toed to the door, slowly opened it, Beanpole saw me and bailed down the hall as fast as his little feet could carry him.  He quickly made a bee line to the back door and into the back yard.

A few minutes later T came in to get his Ipod, his new Ipod that he bought himself with money he earned/saved over the past couple months.  Lo and behold it was nowhere to be found.  T was certain he had left it on the floor since he was sitting there a little while ago playing a video game and now it was gone!  Missing!

Light bulb goes off...."I bet Beanpole took it," I shout!  I should have figured that to begin with since last week he got into my wallet and my debit card is still missing.  I kinda chuckled and said, "I bet when we find the Ipod, we will find my debit card, too."


So off we went to hunt for the Ipod in the backyard, traipsing from one end of the yard to the other.  Oh and by the way, it was pouring down rain (that should be of no surprise since we live in Oregon).   We looked everywhere in our back yard.  I felt like we were in a formal search party combing every inch of the backyard in precision.  Walking the perimeter leaving no ground unturned. We even thought maybe he chucked it over the fence since I was certain he must have had it when he bailed down the hall so quickly when I caught him in the room.

But nothing.  While the boys were out still looking in the back yard, in the rain, getting darker by the minute I started tearing the house apart.  Maybe he chucked it somewhere else on his way out, I thought.  He sometimes does that when he gets caught with something.  He will just throw it off to the side and I will find things completely out of place such as my mascara in the bin of blocks or the toenail clippers in his box of cars.  (I know kinda gross but he for some reason always has the toenail clippers).

About an hour or so into it, after a few moments of complete insanity, really I was getting I-R-R-I-T-A-T-E-D to be blunt that Beanpole would have taken his Ipod, outside, in the rain and hid  it some where.  And he was not confessing to it nor helping us determine where it was.  I even started *trying* to bribe him with money, candy, ice cream, to no avail.

I really was thinking it was a lost cause and poor T his hard earned money, lost in the backyard.  Even if we find it I thought, it would be soaked from the rain so it probably wouldn't work anyways.

Then.....

I was actually getting ready to go next door to our neighbors and ask to look in their back yard when the husband hollers, "Thank you Jesus, found it!"  I was still outside so it was obviously not out there. 

I rushed in, in utter disbelief, "Where was it?"

"In my drawer," T says. 

"What?" I say as I am clinching my teeth. 

"It was in your drawer this whole time?  Are you kidding me?  So we have just spent the last hour or so looking for your Ipod that was dry, in your drawer the whole time? And we  (or I initially) thought that Beanpole took it and hid it outside. 

"Yes" he says.  The maddening part of this was that early on in the search we asked that he go in and turn his room upside down and inside out to look for it.  He said he did and it was not in there.

In the end, in all of our defence, Beanpole did get a hold of it and was the one that stashed it in the drawer because we were confident that it was originally on the floor next to where T was sitting earlier in the evening. 



Image Courtesy of Apple




I am just glad we finally found it.


New Rule Of The House:  Put Ipod up in the closet when not using so Beanpole doesn't snatch it.  And if there is a next time, I am not spending over an hour looking for it, outside!  You are on your own!




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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Performing Surgery

Scaple. Check.

Clamps.Check.

Beep.Beep.Beep.Beep.  (sound of heart monitor)

Tongs. Check.

Tongs? Huh?

Let's just say someone who will remain anonymous wasn't the brightest color in the box today.

It's been a while since I washed our bin of legos.  No problem.  I will just throw them in the sink, soak'em overnight.  Rinse and dry'em  tomorrow.  Easy peasy.





Not so much.  Bright one me takes the plug out of the sink absent mindedly and what do you think happens?

You got it.

Legos down the drain into the garbage disposal.

I swear I feel like I have been performing surgery for the past hour trying to get all the little pieces out of the garbage disposal. 







Thank God for tongs!



Have you ever done something that the second you do it, you think DOH!  Yeah, that was me someone else.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Survey Says........

I have a Type A personality! (Ha!)

I am addicted to carbs! (and I have the muffin top to prove it)

I am a perfectionist! (kinda goes along with the Type A personality)  I am working on this remember?

I need more Vitamin D! (Which comes from sunshine. Well duh, I live in Oregon where it rains 9 months out of the year)

I need to drink less coffee and drink more Green Tea instead! It apparently will make me more alert but I won't have the energy crash.  (Caffeine IV, STAT!)

Ok, now tell me something I don't already know?

I just wasted 5 mins of my life, that I will not get back to take a survey that told me all the above....LOL...




Do you ever take surveys and do they ever *enlighten* you?






Saturday, February 5, 2011

O'My Word!

That is all I could say about this upon walking into it last night...Now mind you, positive thing that our 3 yr old entertained himself for a bit last evening while I was making dinner BUT....

O'My Word... I didn't realize he dumped his quite large toy box out!  O'My Word.  I am not even certain how he was able to do it.  He is just an itty bitty guy (like a beanpole)  but he must pack some power behind those guns that I wasn't aware of!




His Room



Our Beanpole aka Our Little Tornado


Guess what I will be doing during nap time?

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Dreaming of Beggin' Strips ?

Remember this commercial?  Do they play it on channels in your area?  This is actually one of the newer versions. 

There is another one that I found but it didn't have a share link.  The one that has the lady with the teased BIG blond hair.  Must have been from the 80's.  (not hating on the 80's I grew up in the 80's too just an honest observation)

So my point of this particular post is actually quite funny, to me at least.  I was up late last night writing blogs (not this one of course) and upon turning into bed was thinking about "saving bacon" i.e. money.  This commercial was actually in my dream last night and the only thing I can link it to is "saving bacon".  

(Sidenote about the whole saving bacon, our 3yr old son I think, thinks, my husband and I really make bacon for a living.  When he asks where we are going, when we leave for work, we have always said, going to make the bacon...lol) 

I am like a hound, sniffing my way through the stores for the best deals, cutting coupons, comparison shopping, etc my way to savings.  I do not particular like shopping but grocery shopping is different for me these days.  There are obviously other things I would rather do than grocery shop but my family needs to eat so...

Grocery shopping now is like a game.  Each week I get more competitive.  How much money can I save this week? 

Kinda like this dog in search of the elusive beggin strips....






I took my MIL shopping this past week and found myself pointing out several things for her to buy at this particular store (Grocery Outlet) vs what not too buy because I knew she could get it on sale at another store for much less.  I was on a roll.  I think she ended up saving $50+ dollars on the trip and she didn't buy anything that she wouldn't normally buy (which is the key); she just bought it for less. 

I went to Safeway this past grocery trip and they do tend to be more expensive than other stores in our area but overall, I did pretty well.  I spent $97.48 for the week.  And I think the only reason why I probably spent a little bit more than I typically do is because I bought my produce at Safeway which I usually go to the Growers Outlet to purchase. 

My menu for the week is not too shabby:

Sunday: Cheese Quesidillas & SW Corn
Monday: Bean & Cheese Burritos, Green Beans
Tuesday:  Baked Pork Chops, Macaroni & Cheese, Steamed Broccoli and Cauliflower
Wednesday: Fajitas & Tortilla Chips/Salsa
Thursday: Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes and Mixed Veggies
Friday:  Chili & Cornbread
Saturday: Grilled Cheese Sandwich & Tomato Soup

 (As you can tell our family likes Mexican inspired meals plus this week because of Superbowl, a lot of the ingredients have been on sale for these meals. Win-Win situation)

I also bought several snack items, milk products and lunch items too!



Beggin..........



Do you ever have really weird dreams and think, "What the heck?" "Where did that come from?"

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Doggy Bag

Thank you to The Zany Housewife (a blog I follow).

This sure does bring new meaning to the word, Doggy Bag, now doesn't it?

What if your dog was a Great Dane, would you still wear him/her?  Maybe the other way around?




Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Wacky Wednesday

It is time for another edition of Wacky Wednesday!  Are you ready for this one?  This is the Christmas Family Portrait Edition.


Thank you Akward Family Photos for these and to all the people who submitted them even though they knew they would be humiliated for life.

Remember your not laughing at them but rather with them...(they submitted them)



Not sure how a clown got into a Christmas picture, but whatever...

May the force be with you and yours...

Yeah, this little guy was having nothing to do with this pic





Where's Waldo?







These were just a few of MY favorites.  Tons more to view.  Check them out.


Did you and your family take a holiday portrait this year?





Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Improv

Guess why I am in the tub fully clothed?










Because brother had a friend over and I didn't want to leave my momma's side..and momma she had to go to the bathroom.

She couldn't very well leave the door wide open like she normally does with company over now could she? 

It wasn't that bad...I survived...You can't hear me very well but I was even giggling a little bit...



Whatever works, right?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Beep.Beep.Out of The Way.

I said to the driver who was going 20mph in front of me on the way home last night.

Seriously, I couldn't help but chuckle after saying it out loud in the empty car  (and like the woman could hear me).  I didn't actually honk my "real" horn or anything.

You see my son and now my daughter have this little driving toy that has a steering wheel, a whole bunch of buttons, little gear shift, flashing lights, etc and it says all these cute little sayings such as:

Beep.Beep. Out of the Way.  I'm Driving.
Filler Up.  I'm out of gas. (I think I will start saying this when I am tired)
Slow down, little fella.

And I often times find myself saying these things out loud, to others, not even realizing it...lol...I guess this is what happens when you get old have small children; certain things or habits for that matter get stuck in your head,engraved almost.

Do you ever try and cut up your husbands meat at dinner? 

What about referring to your spouse as "mommy" or "daddy" when talking to others?

Before going somewhere asking your spouse if they have to go potty?

Yeah, me neither...all the time....






Monday, November 29, 2010

Here Is The Skinny....


On average statistics show *we* (I say we because I am including most adults that eat anything of substance) gain 7-10lbs between Thanksgiving and New Years….

Let me put that in perspective: *we* gain the weight of an average new born baby! 

Oh my, I think I may have gained that just as I was typing this post and if not then I probably already did at Thanksgiving and/or will by New Years for sure.  I am one of those that if I even *think* about chocolate cake it goes to my hips.

Between all of the actual holiday meals of Turkey, Ham, Stuffing, Green Bean Casseroles, Pies, the never ending potlucks at work, the "just one more" hor d'oeuvres at the company Christmas party, etc....it definitely makes it hard to stay on task.  Kinda like the *Freshman 15*, did any of you experience that?

Here are a few tips of ways to avoid becoming a statistic and not gain the *Holiday 10* as I like to call it.
  1. Practice Portion Control.  Everything in moderation.
  2. Stay active.  This is a no brainer.  Hopefully all that mall shopping will do us some good.
  3. Make your holiday meals healthier.  Instead of serving a pie or cake for dessert make something lower in fat with fruit.  Or instead of a "creamy" casserole dish make a vegetable dish.
  4. Don't party hungry.  Eat a healthier light meal at home before attending party.  Then you will be full and not so tempted to over eat on all the snacks.
  5. Do not overload on alcohol.  These are empty calories.  Drink water instead.
  6. And last but not least if you slip up, don't give up and continue to overindulge.  Start again on the next meal. It's never too late.


Here is to a happy and healthy baby holiday season!  Cheers!






 




Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Driving Miss "Crazy" Part Deux

It's me again...crazy driver...Actually I am not a crazy driver...opposite of that most of the time...I am pretty defensive when it comes to my own driving especially in inclement weather...I would much prefer to stay home during bad weather but we know that is not always an option...

I have a mini van though, you know one of those things that you tote many small children around in playing taxi?  With the sliding doors on both sides: easy in, easy out (and automatic at that so I can open them from a distance) , seats 7.  That's me...so driving a mini van in the snow, not so good...They definitely don't handle well.  I mean, they aren't meant for 4-wheelin, they are meant to tote kids around...to soccer, to football, to dance, to basketball, wherever you may be going...and they take a beating with all the equipment thrown in the back, couple of car seats, strollers, food mashed into the seats, cheetos under the car mats...You name it, I am sure you can find it in our mini van.  (I once found a rotten banana under one of the kids seats..couldn't figure out what the smell was for the longest time).

Anywho, back to my point of this post...driving in inclement weather...that's what I was talking about, right?  I *hate* driving in the bad weather...This morning after it thawed for the most, I had to get out in it, drop the kids off at Grandma's for a couple hours and head into work.  I work near the airport so not too terribly far but never the less, my drive that normally takes me 7-12 mins (usually down Marine Dr at 540am or so in the morning), took me about 45 mins going down the main streets.  I swear I was going like 20 miles per hour....Even though everything looked thawed there were definitely some "shady" spots that had black ice. 

I probably looked like a *grandma*,  my hands tightly gripping the steering wheel sans driving gloves,  seat pulled up as close as possible to the wheel, beads of sweat running down my forehead (not really but close)...anxious not necessarily about my driving ability but more about others as they fly by me on the left (yes, I was in the slow lane).  I saw a few people spinning out in the slick areas...but thank goodness, nothing major...

Me...driving 20 miles an hour made it safely into work...all by my lonesome.  I was the only one that ventured in. Everyone else decided to work from home and play it safe.  I am such a risk taker...lol...

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?  Another white knuckle driving day?  I hope not...Not too fond of the snow at my house and in the areas that I drive.

If I want snow, I want to go to it, not have it come to me... (sorry all you skiers and snowboarders)



 
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