Saturday, June 30, 2012

Can We Really Have It All?

I read an article recently asking the question, "Do Women Have Themselves To Blame for Work-Family Imbalance?"  It brought up several key points how we, women, put such high expectations on ourselves and therefore when we are not *perfect* and live up to those expectations than we deem ourselves as a failure in (insert whatever is at hand at the moment).  And guilt.  We have such GUILT about it.  We are essentially our own worse enemy.

It is an interesting topic because it is similar to the premise of my blog (and confessional posts) and how it came about.  I used to be one of those women that felt I had to be perfect at everything.  Perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect employee, etc and then one day I woke up completly and utterly exhausted and said...say it with me here:

I Am Not Superwoman!

I can not be perfect at all things to all people.  Heck, I can't even be semi perfect at all things for that matter.

Now don't get me wrong, just because I had this AHA moment,  it does not mean I have become complacent by any means but rather I have come to grips that for me, perfection, is fleeting.  I do the best that I can with what I have to work with.  I have some good days, some bad days. 

....My house is a mess but I got out of bed. 
.........My kids are fed even if it is just cereal out of the box for breakfast. 
...............My husband and I, we bicker but make up.

I am done (have been done) with perfection as the end all, be all of my existance.  And you can be too!  Just let it go.  Enjoy your time with your imperfect family, in your messy house, driving your dirty car through the drive thru for dinner.  It is not the end of the world if every dinner is not made from scratch.  Shh, nobody will even know unless you tell them.  But you have food, you have life.  That is what matters! 

Stop trying to keep up with The Jones'.  Be the keeper of  your life, your family, your GOD how it fits you.  One size does not fit all.  What works for me, might not work for you.  What works for you, might not work for me.

Find that happy medium.  Help support your family but don't kill yourself trying to do so, that is not going to help anybody.  Give your all at work but turn off your brain from work when you step in your front door.  Be present at home.  Sit down with the kids, read them a book instead of cleaning the kitchen.  Throw in a ready made lasagna for dinner so you can converse with your husband/wife instead of slaving over the stove. 

And stop reading blogs of those that profess to be perfect!  This only does more harm than good to your self esteem.

In closing, to answer the question, "Can We Really Have It All?"  I think we can get pretty close to having it ALL (whatever all is in our own eyes) BUT we will probably have to lower our high expectations a little bit. 

What do you think?

I am linking this post up to 6WS over at  Did you figure out what my 6 words are?


  1. Very good post! I think we as women are too hard on ourselves trying to be perfect!!

  2. Amen!! You said it all.

  3. I don't think it's possible to have it all, nor do I think it is healthy to do so. Honestly, life is about choosing our priorities and values. Having it all would give us nothing to strive for, nothing to dream about, nothing to bring us hope. Having it all would mean being a robot moving through the motions of each thing because there would be no passion in any of it. That is just my personal opinion, though.

  4. I always pick the posts I'm going on to read on 6WS based on the titles, if I know the person or if it's a blogger with a cool name. I'm human I can't visit them all most times. Your title was the second one I read and surprise I arrive here to discover it's you - so smiling wildly

  5. Well said Jenn!

  6. I don't think we can have it all; but I don't think we need it all. What we need is balance.

  7. I think - and this is a play on a famous quote - we can have it all when we want all that we have. I gave up being perfect so many years ago I can't even remember any more!

  8. I think it depends on what you consider 'having it all'? I saw a post on fcbk: I have almost reached perfection, so that's one less thing to worry about...

  9. Very wise words indeed. I stopped trying to be perfect many moons ago, and live instead by the motto, "it's good enough".

  10. I agree with it all. After I read Pinterest I have to talk myself into lowering my standards so I won't feel so defeated.
    But in all seriousness - this was an awesome post and very motivational. Thanks for sharing it.

  11. Whether or not "we can have it all" I don't think women would ever let themselves appreciate if they did! Guilt, insecurity, the constant need to compare. We are too much in our heads to let ourselves enjoy the things we have! I'm stopping by from the Tuesday Archive Link UP and am now a new follower:) Would love if you could follow back when you get a chance;)

  12. That age old question keeps rearing its ugly head, and the answer is still the same. No. Not only can we not be perfect, we shouldn't be expected to be, and we shouldn't be expected to be everything to everyone. Far as I'm concerned, we shouldn't even have to multi-task. We should have the option of being as one-track, focused, and oblivious to our surroundings as men. How about that?

  13. I completely agree. I think the real problem is having it all means something very different than what people THINK it means. It doesn't mean having a great, perfectly managed career... being rich... having a PERFECT marriage where you never ever fight... and being a perfect mom and housewife on top of that. It means finding happiness in your life, whatever life that may be. It means finding a happy medium!


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